First and foremost, I want to say that Meerkat Manor is the most brilliant television show in ten years. Heart-wrenching, charming, furry. Can you think of anything/one else like that? Anyone?
Second and less foremost, I took a trip to Lincoln, NE with my mother on monday. That place has produced a couple of my best friends, and a family that I someday hope to belong to by adoption. It also is home to a disproportionate number of crazy people. This trip, I met a Russian military plane enthusiast who "loved him some gyros", listened to a man talk about stoplights and how they benefit/damage society for a full half-hour, and waited at a crosswalk next to a man flapping his harms like some sort of man-bird. Birdman? I could not resist the urge to glance over. He looked back at me with an expression that really only said, "May I help you, sir?"
Lincoln is way cooler than any place people would expect to find in Nebraska. I love the Midwest. You should too.
Now! To the point!
I had an echocardiograph this morning. Apparently, as I found out before I left the America, I has a hart-merr-merr. Now, this exists concurrently with intermittent emotional pangs, heretofore the only heart murmurs that I was aware of having. An echocardiograph is like a chest sonogram. I have now seen and heard my heart in all of its glorious (?) detail.
Observations of note:
My heart makes some weird fucking noises. My favorite was one that sounded like when you put a finger in your mouth, puff out your cheeks, and pull. But it was happening over and over again alongside other sounds. Basically it was a "whoosh, whoosh, POP" kind of thing. Silly life organ.
The visual representation of those sound waves looks like the continent of Africa.
My heart with its various valves and other pieces looks like a wide assortment of monstrosities. Things I thought I saw included: A headless person whose chest read "v" for victory everytime he saluted with his non-head, a dancing clip-art lady, one of those squishy things that's really hard to hold on to. a potato, a vagina, an amoeba under a microscope, a totally inappropriate symbol for human love, a clapping contest.
A dude also rubbed some pleasant smelling-gel all over my chest. I can't tell if I never want that to happen again or if I should run back to the office screaming about how I desperately need another exam.
Gooooooood Morning!
-kvn
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2 comments:
I love echos and feel bad for people who have never had a chance to see their heart. It's totally awesome.
And I will probably ask you this later, but--how it your heart? You cool? It wasn't until I told my moms that you had a murmur that I realized it's actually a fairly Bad Deal to get one. Who knew?
If I could hold your heart in my hands and will it to beat with a regular thud-thud, you know I would.
Alas.
Thud-thud THOMP.
Mine does it, too. I've convinced myself it's just my esophagus, and not my heart. Sometimes I pretend it's a little animal living in there.
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